Deciphering online dating profiles anti-sexual assault campaign
I always appreciate it when a topic for an article happens to fall into my lap.
It saves me all of the time and anxiety that comes with writing a thrice-weekly column that usually culminates with the 3 AM insomnia-inducing panic that leads to my brain screaming “I HAVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS!
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men.
He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry.
He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.
or at least one night of vulnerability-induced sex and an incredibly awkward morning after full of regrets and mint-schnapps-flavored vomit. Check any of the many “I’ve been friend-zoned” or “Nice Guy” rants on Facebook or Reddit or Tumblr – no, seriously, go ahead. Except of course he isn’t, he doesn’t and quite frankly, he’s probably not really in love with her anyway.
I’ll wait – and you’ll see a recurring pattern: “She doesn’t want a nice guy, she only wants those assholes who treat her better. A true friend doesn’t make his relationship with a person conditional to the idea that some day – maybe not today, but some day he’s not going to say anything: because as soon as he does, the illusion is ruined.
Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that.Either the Nice Guy sees an opportunity and makes his move – and gets shot down – or his crush gets a new boyfriend; this is usually seen as the last straw for the Nice Guy.This event is celebrated in the manner traditional to the Nice Guy’s people: blowing up at the object of his affection for her “betrayal” of him or a long and often embarrassing rant on the Internet all about the perfidy of womankind. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you.He’s engaging in what is, for all intents and purposes, a transactional relationship or a particularly grind-y MMO quest line.In his mind, by acting like her friend – doing her favors, spending time with her, giving her emotional support at times when her boyfriend is acting like a raging asshole – he’s collecting as many pork-asses as he possibly can until the end of the quest when she breaks up with her boyfriend and he can trade all of those hard-earned pork-asses in for a relationship… The “Nice Guy” has usually bought into the lies that he’s peddling: that he’s really being a good friend to her, that he respects her in ways her asshole boyfriends don’t, that his love for her is a purer, more deserving love than anyone else she might know.